How Do You Identify? Who Are You Without the Sport?

“Sports is what I do, not who I am.”
- Various Athletes

Why Values‑Based Identity Matters More Than What You Do

For many athletes, sport isn’t just something they do – it becomes who they are. Early mornings, late‑night practices, sacrifices, injuries, team commitments, constant performance pressure makes it easy for sport to shape an athlete’s entire identity. What happens when the cheering stops, the games end, and retirement (whether planned or unexpected) arrives?

The answer can be complicated. And often painful.

That’s why building an identity based on your values, not just your role, is one of the most important things an athlete can do for long‑term well‑being.

Why Identity Matters

Identity is the story we tell ourselves about who we are. When that story is anchored only to what we do – “I am a hockey player,” “I am a volleyball player,” “I am a swimmer” – our sense of self becomes dependent on performance, status, and external validation.

Roles change. We age. Opportunities end. 

Values, on the other hand don’t expire. Things like integrity, discipline, curiosity, compassion, and perseverance will evolve, but they don’t disappear. When athletes build an identity around their values, they gain a foundation that stays solid even when the world around them shifts.

The Challenge Athletes Face at Retirement

Whether an athlete retires at 18, 35, or 50, one of the most common emotional experiences is a sense of loss. Not just loss of structure but loss of self. Many retired athletes describe feeling like:

• “I didn’t know who I was without my sport.”

• “My entire routine vanished overnight.”

• “I missed the locker room more than the competition.”

• “I felt like I had no purpose.”

Why does this happen?
It is because for years, even decades, their identity was built around the doing: training, competing, winning, recovering, repeating. When that ends, the internal compass they used to guide their lives suddenly disappears. Research into athlete retirement consistently shows higher risk of depression, anxiety, and identity crisis when athletes have a performance‑based identity versus a values‑based one.

Examples From the Real World

I started my career in law enforcement in December 2003. For nearly two decades I worked hard and fell into the performance-based identity. Back in 2022, I faced losing my identity. I was an investigator, but now what was I going to do? It took a neurological reset for me to realize that being an investigator was what I do. It was not who I am.  Since then, I have begun to ground my identity in values such as:

• Resiliency

• Leadership

• Kindness

• Curiosity

• Doing Hard Things

 Regardless of what I do, those qualities remain available in the transition to whatever comes next – coaching, business, community service, or entirely new passions.

 We see this with many athletes who successfully transition after retirement. They often speak less about their sport and more about their values:

• The former sprinter who becomes a motivational speaker because their value is inspiring others.

• The retired hockey player who coaches youth because their value is mentorship.

• The Olympic athlete who starts a business because their value is growth and creativity.

 They didn’t lose who they were; they simply applied their values to a new arena.

How to Build a Values‑Based Identity

It starts with two questions:

Who am I? Who do I want to be?

Explore values by reflecting on questions such as:

• What behaviors am I most proud of—not just what achievements?

• What qualities do I admire in others?

• What do I want people to say about me when sport isn’t mentioned?

• When have I felt most like my authentic self?

Once values are identified, the next step is practicing aligning daily actions (inside and outside sport) with those values. This anchors identity in something internal and flexible, rather than external and fragile.

The Bottom Line

Sport is powerful. It shapes discipline, work ethic, teamwork, and resilience. But it should never be the sole definition of who someone is. Athletes who build an identity around their values, not their sport, navigate life with more confidence, purpose, and emotional stability. The arena may change, but the person – their character, their drive, their principles always remains strong.

In the end, what you do will change. Who you are doesn’t have to.

Again, I am not a doctor or professional. This is just my opinion.