Why Self-Confidence Holds When Self-Esteem Erodes
"Believing you are good enough is the foundation to feeling you are good enough."
— Unknown
In the realm of personal development, the terms self-esteem and self-confidence are often used interchangeably but they are not the same. Understanding the difference between the two, and why self-confidence may be more beneficial in the long run, can be a game-changer for personal growth and resilience. At Northern Lights Athletic Club, our volleyball lessons emphasize building a strong foundation of self-confidence in youth, empowering them to develop a growth mindset and rise to life’s challenges with resilience.
What is the Difference?
Self-esteem refers to the overall sense of self-worth or personal value. It answers the question, “How much do I like myself?” Psychologist Morris Rosenberg, a pioneer in self-esteem research, defined it as a global judgment of one’s value across different areas of life - often shaped by past experiences, social feedback, and personal beliefs. People with high self-esteem generally feel good about themselves, while those with low self-esteem may struggle with self-worth.
Self-confidence, on the other hand, is more specific. It reflects a belief in one’s ability to perform particular tasks or handle specific situations. It's contextual, realistic, and often grounded in experience or competence. For example, a person may have high self-esteem but low self-confidence when public speaking. Conversely, someone could be a confident speaker but struggle with self-esteem due to negative self-perceptions in other areas of life.
The Science Behind the Difference
Research shows that while both self-esteem and self-confidence contribute to well-being, self-confidence is more closely tied to performance, motivation, and resilience. According to Bandura’s theory of self-efficacy, confidence in one’s ability to succeed is a critical driver of behavior and achievement. This belief in capability fuels persistence, even when facing setbacks.
A study reviewed in the Neurobiology of Mental and Physical Health found that self-confidence acts as a “growth hormone” for personality development, enabling individuals to regulate behavior, set goals, and recover from failure more effectively than those relying solely on self-esteem. Self-confidence is linked to self-regulation mechanisms like self-monitoring and self-evaluation, which are essential for adapting to adversity.
The Fragility of Self-Esteem
While high self-esteem is generally associated with positive outcomes like happiness and life satisfaction, it can also be unstable and contingent. A 2003 study by Jennifer Crocker and Lora Park at the University of Michigan found that contingent self-esteem, esteem based on external validation (e.g., appearance, achievement, approval), can lead to increased anxiety, stress, and even depression.
Moreover, self-esteem is frequently influenced by external validation. When that validation disappears - such as during a job loss, breakup, or academic failure—self-esteem can plummet, leaving individuals vulnerable to anxiety, depression, and withdrawal. Self-esteem is not inherently resilient.
Additionally, inflated or defensive self-esteem - where one feels compelled to protect their ego at all costs - can lead to aggression and avoidance behaviors when challenged. This was supported by research published in Psychological Science (Baumeister et al., 1996), which found that individuals with high but unstable self-esteem were more likely to react aggressively to criticism.
The Strength of Self-Confidence
Self-confidence is more stable because it’s built on evidence and experience. It grows through action, learning, and skill development. Bandura’s research shows that people with high self-efficacy (confidence) are more likely to take initiative, persist through challenges, and bounce back from failure. Each success reinforces the belief: “I can do this.” Even failure becomes a learning opportunity, not a threat to self-worth.
A 2002 meta-analysis in Educational Psychologist found that self-efficacy had a stronger link to academic achievement than self-esteem. Confidence drives action, while esteem often relies on perception.
Why Self-Confidence Is Better to Have
Here are three key reasons why self-confidence is more advantageous than self-esteem, especially when facing adversity:
It’s Skill-Based: Confidence is rooted in ability. You can train for it, practice it, and build it in specific areas of life. This makes it adaptable and sustainable.
It Encourages Growth: Confident individuals are more likely to take risks, accept challenges, and learn from failure. Their identity isn’t shattered by setbacks.
It’s Resilient: Unlike self-esteem, which can dip with criticism or rejection, self-confidence is harder to shake. It thrives on progress rather than perfection.
Building Confidence Over Esteem
While fostering healthy self-esteem is important, focusing on building self-confidence may offer more practical benefits. Confidence can be cultivated through:
Skill development: Mastering new tasks builds competence and belief in one’s abilities.
Positive self-talk: Reframing negative thoughts helps reinforce a confident mindset.
Goal setting: Achievable goals provide a roadmap for success and reinforce progress.
Exposure to challenges: Facing fears and stepping outside comfort zones strengthens confidence.
The Takeaway: Build Confidence, and Esteem Will Follow
This isn’t to say that self-esteem has no value. A healthy baseline sense of worth is important. But if you have to choose where to invest your energy, building self-confidence will do more for your resilience, success, and emotional well-being.
Start with small wins. Practice new skills. Celebrate competence, not just identity. As your confidence grows, a more stable form of self-esteem - one not shaken by every failure or judgment - will naturally follow. In the face of adversity, it’s not who thinks highly of themselves that prevails, but who believes they can act effectively and adapt. Confidence is the true foundation of personal strength.
